Break

The last two weeks have been a massive break from everything, partially planned and partially unplanned. Going to Minnesota for 5 days was my scheduled break-- spent some time on the lake, played backgammon, ate smores, and visited the Redwood County Fair. Small town life, as well as midwestern life, is certainly different from my current situation in a Texas metroplex. But overall, I had a great time and enjoyed my week with Sam and her family.

Unfortunately, I paid for all of that recreation and traveling with a week of back pain. When I got home, I felt miserable... I could barely sit down without pain, and getting through my daily exercises seemed near impossible. Even though it would mean putting my summer music goals on the back-burner, I knew my first priority was to get the inflammation calmed down. So, I spent a week lying down, watching movies, icing my back, and stretching in hopes that everything would calm down and I could resume physical therapy. Luckily, after a week of "rehab mode," I'm feeling better... But it's not a total victory yet. My healing happened at the expense of living a normal lifestyle. I haven't played saxophone in almost 2 weeks now, besides a short 30 minute session last Thursday. And I've accepted that a break, at least right now, may be the best thing for me. But, what happens when I get one of these inflammation spells at ASU? What if my back gets in the way of pursuing a degree in saxophone performance?

Only time will tell... I just wish there was some way I could control this. My PT said that even if I get my core strengthened enough to feel 90%, I'm still going to have these random flare-ups for no reason. I've accepted that I'm going to have to live a "modified" lifestyle, but I wish taking care of my back was as easy as losing weight, or being in shape. It sucks that there's only so much I can do.

On a more hopeful note, I know that this experience is teaching me a lot of life lessons that I need to learn. If nothing else, it serves as a reminder that some things in life are out of our control, and we just have to learn how to cope. I've been blessed in a lot of ways, so maybe this is one of my few crosses to bear.